March 26th, 2011 is the date. The event is Cornelius Wa's birthday. The following post will be about what kind of shenanigans will take place on said date. A little background information before I tell you what will happen. He is a male. He enjoys dual screens. He is a nerd. He likes alcoholic beverages. He likes to play video games. He is a nerd. With that said, Let's find out what will happen on Saturday, shall we?!?
Cornelius will wake up with a massive hangover at around 8:30AM. He will roll out of bed, look at his picture of his significant other, shed a few tears at her beauty and kiss the picture frame. Creepy? Extremely. He will have his morning cup of expresso and read the newspaper. His morning will be his normal routine as he does every morning. He will play "50 Cent:Bullet Proof" for a bit. Kill some thugs is how he usually starts his day. Just because it's his birthday, won't make it any different. Anyway, enough of his boring routine.
The day will start off at the field museum, however I won't be there. Neither will alcohol so who really cares. After everyone leaves the museum, we will stare at hobo's and laugh at their misfortune. It's horrible but we'll be down town and they'll be TONS of hobo's so can you really blame us? After that, the drinking will start by 5PM. We'll start bar hopping, probably visit 3-5 bars in the three hours or so before dinner. Everyone can only drink hard liquor, if you order beer, you will be kicked out of our "crew". Nobody wants that. The ignorance will start at dinner. We'll be going to taco bell. Everyone will have $7.00 alotted to them. Cornelius will be the one funding everyone will their dinner money. It'll be a classy evening. After that, thats when the party begins. Drinks will be flowing. I will be dancing like a jackass. MKP will be making fun of many hipsters, whites, emo's, wanksta's, anyone really. Amy will have red hair, Angela will think twice why she's dating her jackass bf. Marvin will do ironic things. MM will be drinking creepily at his home. By himself. We will be drinking all night. ALL NIGHT. I envision alcohol poisoning for a few people.
I know what you're thinking...how will these brave people get home? Who really cares at this point. The point is Cornelius will have a memorable 30th. We will cause a few hate crimes. Most of us will get more learned at the museum. I will say I will hit on women but ultimately I won't because I'm a punk bitch. Last but not least, we will feast on Taco Bell. It'll truly be the best birthday. Ever.
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