March 26th, 2011 is the date. The event is Cornelius Wa's birthday. The following post will be about what kind of shenanigans will take place on said date. A little background information before I tell you what will happen. He is a male. He enjoys dual screens. He is a nerd. He likes alcoholic beverages. He likes to play video games. He is a nerd. With that said, Let's find out what will happen on Saturday, shall we?!?
Cornelius will wake up with a massive hangover at around 8:30AM. He will roll out of bed, look at his picture of his significant other, shed a few tears at her beauty and kiss the picture frame. Creepy? Extremely. He will have his morning cup of expresso and read the newspaper. His morning will be his normal routine as he does every morning. He will play "50 Cent:Bullet Proof" for a bit. Kill some thugs is how he usually starts his day. Just because it's his birthday, won't make it any different. Anyway, enough of his boring routine.
The day will start off at the field museum, however I won't be there. Neither will alcohol so who really cares. After everyone leaves the museum, we will stare at hobo's and laugh at their misfortune. It's horrible but we'll be down town and they'll be TONS of hobo's so can you really blame us? After that, the drinking will start by 5PM. We'll start bar hopping, probably visit 3-5 bars in the three hours or so before dinner. Everyone can only drink hard liquor, if you order beer, you will be kicked out of our "crew". Nobody wants that. The ignorance will start at dinner. We'll be going to taco bell. Everyone will have $7.00 alotted to them. Cornelius will be the one funding everyone will their dinner money. It'll be a classy evening. After that, thats when the party begins. Drinks will be flowing. I will be dancing like a jackass. MKP will be making fun of many hipsters, whites, emo's, wanksta's, anyone really. Amy will have red hair, Angela will think twice why she's dating her jackass bf. Marvin will do ironic things. MM will be drinking creepily at his home. By himself. We will be drinking all night. ALL NIGHT. I envision alcohol poisoning for a few people.
I know what you're thinking...how will these brave people get home? Who really cares at this point. The point is Cornelius will have a memorable 30th. We will cause a few hate crimes. Most of us will get more learned at the museum. I will say I will hit on women but ultimately I won't because I'm a punk bitch. Last but not least, we will feast on Taco Bell. It'll truly be the best birthday. Ever.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Blog 12: Hi
Hello kind person who took time out to visit my "blog"
Let's be real. Can we even call this a blog at this point? I usually forget about it until Steve pesters me to post something. I will however try my hardest to post regularly as I have had many compliments on it. Alright, what's been going on since the last time we spoke? The Tsunami that struck Japan was tragic. My thoughts and prayers definitely go out to those people. I'm already sick of the Charlie Sheen thing. We get it, you're "crazy" Whatever. Get lost. We lost Nate Dogg. Truly a sad day for any hip-hop fan. Do yourself a favor and find "Oh No" by Mos Def and Pharoahe Monch feat. Nate Dogg. You'll be in for a treat. The NCAA Tournament starts in less than 12 hours. That's exciting if you're a basketball fan, even if you're not, it's good times. Baseball starts in exactly 2 weeks. That's good too. Enough of that.
Wu-Tang is the greatest hip-hop group of all time. If you disagree, you're an idiot. You have 9 gentlemen who not only make great group albums (sans the last two) and can come out individually and have great solo discs. See Raekwon for an example. You can say 3 of his 5 albums are must owns. Method Man's first album is great. Liquid Swords is one of the better hip-hop albums of all time. RZA is a producing legend. Inspectah Deck's Controlled Substance is solid as well. Ghostface, do we even need to explain the genius of Mr. Killah? ODB obviously, R.I.P. Dirt Dog. I love underground hip-hop as much as the next white kid from the 'burbs, but Wu will be above everyone for the reasons I stated above.
Honorable Mentions:
OutKast are up there as well, don't get me wrong, Andre 3G and Big Boi are legends in their own right, but Wu has been more consistent. UGK are in the conversation. They never became mainstream which I respect. The only song most people know from them are "International Players Anthem" which was featuring OutKast. R.I.P. Pimp C. Mobb Deep in the mid 90's had hit after hit after hit. Not radio friendly hits either, straight hood classics. I got into Gang Starr a few years before Guru passed away and I loved their albums. DJ Premier is one of the greatest real hip-hop producers of all time and he proved it with Gang Starr. While Wu is the greatest hip-hop group of all time, my two favorites are De La Soul and A Tribe Called Quest. They were the opposite of Wu-Tang when it came to content but they two groups respectively, left a mark for hip-hop that may never be topped. I know a lot of people don't like Q-Tip but forget about "Vivrant Thing", he's more than just that song. He's more of a lyricist than that, you don't believe me, listen to Kamaal the Abstract.
Word.
Let's be real. Can we even call this a blog at this point? I usually forget about it until Steve pesters me to post something. I will however try my hardest to post regularly as I have had many compliments on it. Alright, what's been going on since the last time we spoke? The Tsunami that struck Japan was tragic. My thoughts and prayers definitely go out to those people. I'm already sick of the Charlie Sheen thing. We get it, you're "crazy" Whatever. Get lost. We lost Nate Dogg. Truly a sad day for any hip-hop fan. Do yourself a favor and find "Oh No" by Mos Def and Pharoahe Monch feat. Nate Dogg. You'll be in for a treat. The NCAA Tournament starts in less than 12 hours. That's exciting if you're a basketball fan, even if you're not, it's good times. Baseball starts in exactly 2 weeks. That's good too. Enough of that.
Wu-Tang is the greatest hip-hop group of all time. If you disagree, you're an idiot. You have 9 gentlemen who not only make great group albums (sans the last two) and can come out individually and have great solo discs. See Raekwon for an example. You can say 3 of his 5 albums are must owns. Method Man's first album is great. Liquid Swords is one of the better hip-hop albums of all time. RZA is a producing legend. Inspectah Deck's Controlled Substance is solid as well. Ghostface, do we even need to explain the genius of Mr. Killah? ODB obviously, R.I.P. Dirt Dog. I love underground hip-hop as much as the next white kid from the 'burbs, but Wu will be above everyone for the reasons I stated above.
Honorable Mentions:
OutKast are up there as well, don't get me wrong, Andre 3G and Big Boi are legends in their own right, but Wu has been more consistent. UGK are in the conversation. They never became mainstream which I respect. The only song most people know from them are "International Players Anthem" which was featuring OutKast. R.I.P. Pimp C. Mobb Deep in the mid 90's had hit after hit after hit. Not radio friendly hits either, straight hood classics. I got into Gang Starr a few years before Guru passed away and I loved their albums. DJ Premier is one of the greatest real hip-hop producers of all time and he proved it with Gang Starr. While Wu is the greatest hip-hop group of all time, my two favorites are De La Soul and A Tribe Called Quest. They were the opposite of Wu-Tang when it came to content but they two groups respectively, left a mark for hip-hop that may never be topped. I know a lot of people don't like Q-Tip but forget about "Vivrant Thing", he's more than just that song. He's more of a lyricist than that, you don't believe me, listen to Kamaal the Abstract.
Word.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Blog 11: "Winning"
Welcome back, friends!
This is part 2 of the "people's choice" blog. I will write a little something about every comment I received on blog 10.
Positive energy is underrated especially when you're "winning". However, if you're like anyone reading this, then you're probably a loser and the only energy you have is negative energy in which case you are not "winning".
My gayness is something that is getting a bit out of control apparently. This blog is gay. My affinity for gay porn is gay. All the music on my iPod is gay.
Hipsters are unique, creative and sincerely caring people. Actually I can't even continue this sentence because it's complete crap. I am going on a crusade from here on in to rid this world of hipsters because they don't deserve to breathe the same air as me.
The feeling that you get after you pet a puppy while looking at a rainbow after a sun shower is truly the best feeling in the world. It makes me tingle inside. I would take that feeling over any other feeling in the history of feelings. Anyone that doesn't agree with this is a stupid, stupid person.
The first annual people's choice blog was truly a fail. Thanks to all of you who contributed to this monstrosity of a topic blog. And to all of you, who don't want me to continue dropping knowledge via this blog, well, get bent, because I will continue to entertain for all my 5 fans.
This is part 2 of the "people's choice" blog. I will write a little something about every comment I received on blog 10.
Positive energy is underrated especially when you're "winning". However, if you're like anyone reading this, then you're probably a loser and the only energy you have is negative energy in which case you are not "winning".
My gayness is something that is getting a bit out of control apparently. This blog is gay. My affinity for gay porn is gay. All the music on my iPod is gay.
Hipsters are unique, creative and sincerely caring people. Actually I can't even continue this sentence because it's complete crap. I am going on a crusade from here on in to rid this world of hipsters because they don't deserve to breathe the same air as me.
The feeling that you get after you pet a puppy while looking at a rainbow after a sun shower is truly the best feeling in the world. It makes me tingle inside. I would take that feeling over any other feeling in the history of feelings. Anyone that doesn't agree with this is a stupid, stupid person.
The first annual people's choice blog was truly a fail. Thanks to all of you who contributed to this monstrosity of a topic blog. And to all of you, who don't want me to continue dropping knowledge via this blog, well, get bent, because I will continue to entertain for all my 5 fans.
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