Hello friends! In my first blog I said that you would learn about my dislikes, well today is your lucky day, as I will tell you about one of my dislikes.
As you can tell by my title, I just want people to leave me the F alone. If you have a problem, whether it be financial, personal, or anything really, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT. If I could quote American poet, Shawn Carter, "I got 99 problems but a b*tch ain't one", this reigns so true...We all have f*cking problems. Do I run to you when I'm upset about something? I'll answer it for you, No, no I don't. Why? Because I man the F up and deal with it myself. I realize there are many out there who aren't as strong as myself. Well, here's some advice, go to your pastor, go to your parents, your sister, brother, girlfriend, boyfriend, go to your freaking banker for all I care. DO NOT GO TO ME. I don't care about your problems. If it doesn't involve me, then keep it that way and don't tell me. I subscribe to the mantra of mindyourfnbusiness.com which basically means shut the F up. I don't care.
If you break up with your significant other, it was probably for a reason. If you are unhappy about it, then talk to someone who ISN'T THAT PERSON. Get some advice from your family members and people your respect...then MAKE THE DECISION ON YOUR F*CKING OWN. It's your life, your relationship, who cares what your friends think. They're probably idiots anyway.
If you are having financial problems...Then you probably should STOP BUYING UNNECESSARY SH*T YOU DON'T NEED. Open a savings account. Don't go out to eat as much as you do. Don't buy things for people. If you are in a relationship and you're afraid they'll break up with you for not buying anything for them, then NEWSFLASH, you're dating a hooker.
And for any other problem you may endure in your life, you can really use this advice for any problem you may have. Basically just man the F up, deal with it yourself, because ultimately it's your problem and you must solve it. Don't be dumb. If you're not an idiot, then you will figure out a way to solve the problem, now if you're a moron, then please, please, REFRAIN FROM CALLING ME. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Blog 3: Sports fans are stupid people
I, like three of my four loyal followers are pretty big sports fans. While, I won't watch any sport, when it comes to MLB, NFL or NBA, I will watch any game, even if the teams do not appeal to me. That being said, a good portion of sports fans, especially Chicago sports fans are extremely stupid people.
1. Chicago Cubs fans are on the top of that list. The good ones get lost in the shuffle because of the d-bag frat boys that often frequent Wrigley.
2. Chicago White Sox fans are a close second. While, it's no secret, I am a die hard White Sox fan, I cannot support the people that "cheer" for my team. Majority of them are idiotic hicks and thats being kind.
3. I don't really care about hockey, so I'm not sure much about their fans, expect most of them are white.
4. Chicago Bulls fans are the best fans in Chicago. By far.
5. Chicago Bears fans are pathetic mainly because of the outcry of the Jay Cutler injury. The man has a torn MCL and Bears fans are crying because he's not "Chicago tough". Those are the same people that would call in from work because of a stubbed toe. The Caleb Hanie talk on how he should be the starter next year is by far the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life.
If you disagree with any of the above content, then you are an idiot. Thanks for reading!
1. Chicago Cubs fans are on the top of that list. The good ones get lost in the shuffle because of the d-bag frat boys that often frequent Wrigley.
2. Chicago White Sox fans are a close second. While, it's no secret, I am a die hard White Sox fan, I cannot support the people that "cheer" for my team. Majority of them are idiotic hicks and thats being kind.
3. I don't really care about hockey, so I'm not sure much about their fans, expect most of them are white.
4. Chicago Bulls fans are the best fans in Chicago. By far.
5. Chicago Bears fans are pathetic mainly because of the outcry of the Jay Cutler injury. The man has a torn MCL and Bears fans are crying because he's not "Chicago tough". Those are the same people that would call in from work because of a stubbed toe. The Caleb Hanie talk on how he should be the starter next year is by far the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life.
If you disagree with any of the above content, then you are an idiot. Thanks for reading!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Blog 2: The Art of Picking up Ladies
Welcome back to my (soon to be) award winning blog!
Today I will be giving everyone tips on how to pick up women at a bar, a grocery store, your place of employment, etc..
If you're like me then you have absolutely no problems with picking up women at any social location that you are in. If you're not (if you're reading this, then you probably aren't), then you probably have less game than a friend of mine (let's just call him Bichael Borelli). Well today is your lucky day because I am here to give you my personal list of do's and don't's when approaching the woman of your dreams.
There are many things you should Do when approaching a woman..
1. You should approach them while they are on their mobile device. The call probably isn't that important so it's not that big of a deal. They will be attracted to your boldness.
2. Always mention at least 2-things that remind them about an ex-girlfriend. --Common Courtesy
I have some pretty important Do Not's when approaching the girl of your dreams
1. Do not look them directly in the eye --They hate that.
2. Do not compliment them --You WILL get slapped in the face.
For obvious reasons, I cannot divulge all my tips on what you should do when meeting women. I have to leave that up to you, but as the days and weeks pass, I will give you a few more tips if you're struggling.
I also want to give you a few of my favorite pick-up lines that have worked on women multiple times.
- "Are you from Tennessee? 'Cause you're the only ten I see"--Classic!
- "You make my software turn into hardware"
- "You sure have a good looking tooth" --That'll mostly only work for Green Bay Packer female fans
I sincerely hope next time you are in a public setting and lay your eyes on a woman, you try some of these tips. They're pretty much bullet proof. Don't be like Bichael Borelli.
Today I will be giving everyone tips on how to pick up women at a bar, a grocery store, your place of employment, etc..
If you're like me then you have absolutely no problems with picking up women at any social location that you are in. If you're not (if you're reading this, then you probably aren't), then you probably have less game than a friend of mine (let's just call him Bichael Borelli). Well today is your lucky day because I am here to give you my personal list of do's and don't's when approaching the woman of your dreams.
There are many things you should Do when approaching a woman..
1. You should approach them while they are on their mobile device. The call probably isn't that important so it's not that big of a deal. They will be attracted to your boldness.
2. Always mention at least 2-things that remind them about an ex-girlfriend. --Common Courtesy
I have some pretty important Do Not's when approaching the girl of your dreams
1. Do not look them directly in the eye --They hate that.
2. Do not compliment them --You WILL get slapped in the face.
For obvious reasons, I cannot divulge all my tips on what you should do when meeting women. I have to leave that up to you, but as the days and weeks pass, I will give you a few more tips if you're struggling.
I also want to give you a few of my favorite pick-up lines that have worked on women multiple times.
- "Are you from Tennessee? 'Cause you're the only ten I see"--Classic!
- "You make my software turn into hardware"
- "You sure have a good looking tooth" --That'll mostly only work for Green Bay Packer female fans
I sincerely hope next time you are in a public setting and lay your eyes on a woman, you try some of these tips. They're pretty much bullet proof. Don't be like Bichael Borelli.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Back for the First Time
Hi There.
Welcome to the wonderful world of Me. This is inaugural blog from yours truly. In the coming months and years, you will come to learn about the real PLOB. There are many who claim to be "ill" but most fail in comparison to myself. Everything you learn on our journey of illness will be very real. You will learn about my life, my friends, my likes and you will most definitely learn about my dislikes. And without further ado..
2 friends and I thought about this brilliant concept 3 days ago, so when I decided to finally go through with this, I simply asked them for help with the actual name...with their infinite wisdom this is what I got in response.
plobsez.blogspo
whatwouldplobdo
petersbedtimest
plobspot.blogsp
plobular.plogsp
howtobeplobular
ineednewfriends
penetratingpete
getpersonalwith
I want to personally thank them for the efforts and the hours that they spent thinking about these wonderful, clever names.
Please look out in the coming days for Blog Number 2. You'll be pleasantly surprised by the subject matter.
Welcome to the wonderful world of Me. This is inaugural blog from yours truly. In the coming months and years, you will come to learn about the real PLOB. There are many who claim to be "ill" but most fail in comparison to myself. Everything you learn on our journey of illness will be very real. You will learn about my life, my friends, my likes and you will most definitely learn about my dislikes. And without further ado..
2 friends and I thought about this brilliant concept 3 days ago, so when I decided to finally go through with this, I simply asked them for help with the actual name...with their infinite wisdom this is what I got in response.
plobsez.blogspo
whatwouldplobdo
petersbedtimest
plobspot.blogsp
plobular.plogsp
howtobeplobular
ineednewfriends
penetratingpete
getpersonalwith
I want to personally thank them for the efforts and the hours that they spent thinking about these wonderful, clever names.
Please look out in the coming days for Blog Number 2. You'll be pleasantly surprised by the subject matter.
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