Blog 22: My German Friends/Frenemies

I wasn't going to do another blog for a while, but after looking at my stats and apparently, I have a German fan. Thanks for your support Lukas (most popular German boys name), however I would prefer that my fan from Germany is Hannah (2nd most popular German girl name).

I wanted to give you some fun German facts:

-Germans are very punctual. You will never find a German who is ever late for work, an appointment, a meeting, they are "always on time" like that hit Ja Rule song.

-Germans enjoy scheduling out their day. They use day planners like Christian's use bibles. If a particular activity is not scheduled, it doesn't get done. Bottom line.

-Germans love beer and sausages. They make good beer. If you are a person who thinks Bud light or Miller lite is good, then you're stupid. Broaden your horizons a little when it comes to alcohol. Spend a few extra dollars and actually enjoy what you're drinking. Germans make extravagant sausage, or so I hear.

-Germans love rules and also soccer (futbol). Germans aren't actually talented in real sports so they stick with soccer. I played soccer for 15 years, so it's ok for me to say that. Germans set rules because they like ruining everyone's life. Except for the making good beer part of life.

-Germany has one of the lowest birthrates in the world. Look it up, nerds. I'm right. Anyway, this proves they hate children. Children are our future, and based on most children I've encountered especially my next door white trash neighbors, our future is very bleek. I support the Germans when it comes to this.

I hope you enjoyed all these German facts. I had fun giving out their secrets.

My personal favorite German movie is Inglorious Basterds. What are some of yours?

One more thing, we need to touch on the elephant in the room regarding Germans.

-They hate Jews. JUUUSSSTTT kidding!!! Or Am I?

(Hold for applause) (Drops mic)

Goodnight.