Blog 24: How to Throw a Party

Welcome back to the best thing on the internet. This post will outline what you will need to throw a successful party. Now I've thrown 40943 successful parties in my life. With that being said, I cannot guarantee that your party will be a success but if you follow this guidelines, it will at worst be mediocre kind of like your life.

1. Be me. If you have the unfortunate luck of not being me then try your best. You will likely fail, but at least you can take solace in knowing you tried.
2.  If you're having a dinner party, make sure you have a dinner that people will like. More specifically, make sure it's something you will enjoy. It doesn't matter if your guests like it or not. It's your party. They didn't have to come.
3. If you are serving alcohol, make sure there is no Miller Lite, Bud Light, PBR, etc.. If you have any of that beer, you are not a good person and your mother loathes your very existence.
4. Make sure you have good music that people can vibe to. If you play FUN PERIOD, then no one will show up to any more of your parties. If you play Soilwork, then you will want to party on a boat in  March.
5. The most important aspect of throwing a successful party are the people you invite. This is the difference between you and I. If I had a party with 15 broom sticks, it would still be more entertaining than 98% of the people reading this party. That's how great of a host I am.

I cannot stress enough that if you follow these things, you are not guaranteed a successful party, so you can't blame me when you continuously fall on your face with your failure friends, failure music, failure beer and failure party.

I want to thank my OG followers along with my new ones as we continue this ride I'm taking you on.